Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize