i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
