im six kinds of drunk right now
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
