Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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