So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize