i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
