You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
In other news, I just burned my penis
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Someone signed my nipple.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
