this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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