All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
