in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
