I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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