Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
