No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
