..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
