We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
