Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
