Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I think I just sharted jello shots
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
