we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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