Whatcha textin bout Willis?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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