Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
