Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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