just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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