This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize