end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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