nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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