brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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