On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
