I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
