I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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