College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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