She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
