I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
