i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
