Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
