You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
