so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
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Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
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A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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