I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
