careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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