Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
