Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
