I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
