Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
