im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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