Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
