Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
