So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
