So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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