it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
