that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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