So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize