we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
