I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it