Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I think I just got seasick

  (409): View more from Texas

  you're not on a boat

  (408): View more from California

  he has a waterbed.

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  (408): I think I just got seasick (409): you're not on a boat (408): he has a waterbed. http://tfl.nu/239c
  Replies (7) Good night (1402) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.

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  (209): I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans. http://tfl.nu/8x3v
  Replies (8) Good night (734) Bad night (1228)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.

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  (978): I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb. http://tfl.nu/h3os
  Replies (4) Good night (4007) Bad night (678)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting

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  (902): yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting http://tfl.nu/sy3h
  Replies (2) Good night (724) Bad night (3325)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.

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  (323): Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering. http://tfl.nu/bd5j
  Replies (31) Good night (819) Bad night (3689)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Don't worry. I has chaperone.

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  (270): Don't worry. I has chaperone. http://tfl.nu/r0c5
  Replies (24) Good night (6099) Bad night (1160)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.

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  (707): At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve. http://tfl.nu/oxx2
  Replies (3) Good night (3466) Bad night (818)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.

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  (403): Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night. (1-403): I am now curious as to how you would have aimed. http://tfl.nu/wkgz
  Replies (10) Good night (2518) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet

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  (814): you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet http://tfl.nu/l7er
  Replies (7) Good night (1617) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.

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  (320): I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years. http://tfl.nu/ge1t
  Replies (2) Good night (1008) Bad night (1274)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.

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  (719): And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing. http://tfl.nu/cuj5
  Replies (7) Good night (727) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out

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  (765): i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out http://tfl.nu/3iy5
  Replies (8) Good night (811) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.

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  (920): He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level. http://tfl.nu/rkz6
  Replies (1) Good night (460) Bad night (225)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.

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  (661): Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me. http://tfl.nu/rph6
  Replies (1) Good night (692) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.

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  (469): I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real. http://tfl.nu/da4u
  Replies (1) Good night (476) Bad night (206)

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