I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize
