you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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