Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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