planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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