Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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