It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
