He is like the real live version of the state fair..
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
The air taste purple.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
