if you like me you must not know who I am
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
