i would punch a child for taco bell
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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