We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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