Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
