her vagina looked like bernie madoff
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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