i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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