just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
