i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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