Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
