I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
