I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
